Check-ins and someone to talk to
What is telephone befriending and how do you find it?
Telephone befriending is a free service, usually run by charities, that matches someone who is lonely with a volunteer who calls them regularly, often once a week, for a friendly chat. In the UK, Age UK runs a Telephone Friendship Service, and Befriending Networks keeps a directory of local schemes you can refer yourself or someone else to.
Why is this harder than it sounds?
Many lonely people don't need advice or therapy; they need a regular, unhurried conversation with someone who's glad to hear from them. Befriending services exist for exactly this, but they're not well known, and people often assume they're only for the very old or the very isolated, or feel embarrassed to ask. Schemes are usually run locally and vary in who they serve, so it can take a few calls to find the right one. Some have waiting lists, because they depend on volunteers.
What can help?
- 01
Start with the national services
In the UK, Age UK's Telephone Friendship Service matches you with a volunteer for a free weekly call. If you're over 55 and want to talk now, The Silver Line (0800 4 70 80 90) is free and open 24 hours.
- 02
Search local schemes
Befriending Networks has an online directory of UK befriending services. Re-engage is another charity the NHS points to for older people.
- 03
Ask your GP
The NHS says a GP may be able to refer you to a social prescribing link worker, who can find local support and activities, including befriending.
- 04
Refer someone else, with their agreement
Many schemes accept referrals from family, friends or professionals. Talk it through with the person first so the first call isn't a surprise.
- 05
Give it a few calls
The first conversation can feel awkward. Most people find it gets easier by the third or fourth call, once there's something to pick up from last time.
- 06
Consider volunteering
If you're lonely yourself but well enough, becoming a telephone befriender is a way to feel useful and connected. Age UK and other charities recruit volunteers.
What tends not to work
Assuming it's charity you don't deserve. These services exist because loneliness is common.
Giving up if there's a waiting list. Ask to be added, and use a 24-hour line such as The Silver Line in the meantime.
Expecting one weekly call to fix loneliness alone. It works best alongside other contact.
Common questions
Is telephone befriending free?
The services run by charities, such as Age UK's Telephone Friendship Service and The Silver Line Helpline, are free.
Can I refer my parent to a befriending service?
Many schemes accept referrals from family. Befriending Networks' directory lets you find services you can refer yourself or someone else to. Ask the person first.
Where Vangie fits
Someone who checks on you
Vangie is not a human befriender, and she says so plainly. What she offers is different: she's available whenever you want to chat, by text or voice, and she can ring you on a rhythm you choose, from daily to monthly, at a time that suits you. She remembers what you've told her and picks up the thread next time. Many people use both: a volunteer's weekly call for human company, and Vangie for the days and late nights in between.
Sources and support
General information, not medical or mental health advice. Vangie is an AI companion: not a licensed counsellor, therapist, doctor or member of the clergy, and not an emergency service. If you are worried about your mental health, talk to your GP or doctor; in the UK, NHS 111 can help if you need urgent help but it isn't an emergency.